Lets Make This Right, Alex
by Taylorx327x
Summary: Lets Make This Right, Alex: An Alex Gaskarth & Jasey Rae FanFiction.
1. Chapter 1 The Beginning

**My First FanFiction..**

My friends always told me not to trust him. But I could never see why. Yeah, Alex liked to sleep with girls and have one night stands but he always said things were different with me, that he would always love me and that he would never hurt me. He made me feel like he really did mean it but then, there was that one night where I got off work earlier then usual. I found him in our bed, yes we lived together and everything, with a girl we had known from high school. I knew she slept with a lot of guys. Were 19, and I expect her to but with my boyfriend.. That I have been dating for two years. It just seems so, so wrong..

I remember opening the front door and I heard a giggle coming from the bedroom. I had just set the food, and my stuff down on the kitchen table and I went to find Alex. I figured he was watching a movie on the laptop in our bedroom. I knocked twice and he simply said "Who is it?" I replied back with a "Jasey, your girlfriend." I was being harsh because I knew there was a girl in there. I heard Alex mumble something to the girl and then he came out. He acted all sweet and innocent so I told him I would be right out since I had to change. I walked in and sure enough, she was hiding in my walk in closet. "God, Alex. How could you do this to me?! I mean, after these past two and a half years of us dating! You just go and cheat on me, like its nothing. How many times have you been with _this _one?" Alex looked at me sympathetically and said "Jasey, I'm sorry, It's the first time. She called and said she wanted to come over." "Alex it doesn't matter if it's the first time but I don't care. I'm out of here." I replied back sharply. And I left, just like that. I grabbed my purse, my cell phone and my keys; I figured I would leave the food for him as a goodbye present.

I got in my convertible and sped down the street. I had no idea where I was going but all I knew is that I needed away from Alex as fast as possible. I would call Jack, he's really good with that stuff, but I don't want him to be involved. So, I park my car in front of the park and I get out. I walk over to the grass and I just lay down. I was wearing black skinny jeans, a Paramore t-shirt and white flip flops so I don't really have to worry about grass stains. Then, all of a sudden, I just start bawling. I can't stop and I just want someone to hold me and say that everything's going to be okay. Then, I hear The Maine's song Into Your Arm's blaring which means someone is trying to call me. I look at it and it read "Jack Barakat" so, I hit the talk button..

"He-hello"

"Jasey! Where are you? Are you crying, what's going on?"

"I'm at the park. I found Alex in bed with another girl."

"Aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'll be right there."

"Jack, it's fine. I'll do something. I don't really know what to do, though.."

"Just sit there. I'll be right there, I promise"

"Thanks, Jack." And then I hit the end button.

**WELL. What did you thiink? I want reviewss, preferably good ones(: I hope you like it!**


	2. Chapter 2 Off to Boston

About ten minutes later, I feel someone hugging me and I know its Jack because he runs his hand up and down my back to get me to calm down. I just cry harder and harder into his shoulder and he doesn't seem to mind. He asks me if I want to tell him what happened and I tell him that I saw Alex with her and I stormed out. Jack takes me back to his house and says to make myself at home. He makes the guest bed and says that I can stay however long I want. He does warn me that Alex will be over at nine thirty tomorrow so if I don't want to see him; I should find somewhere to go out. I say I'll think about him and then I thank him. Jack lives with his girlfriend Mina and she's the sweetest girl alive. I told her that if Jack ever hurts her that I would punch him in the face and so far, he hasn't hurt her in anyway. Mina and Jack go downstairs and watch a movie and I head up to bed. I check my phone and it says 11:11pm. So, I make a wish that Alex would text me or something. Not ever 20 minutes later, my phone beeps and I look at it.

**One New Message from: **Alex Gaskarth

Jasey, I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't blame you if you never speak to me again but just know that Abi and I were just making out. Nothing more, I swear. I hope you can forgive me and just know that I will always love you.

I respond back with

Alex, I understand you didn't mean to hurt me but you did, you hurt me really bad. And if you were making out or you went all the way with her, why does it even matter? Why did you do it in the first place? Alex, I am an emotional wreck right now and I don't know what I am going to do without you but I need to clear my head for a few days. I'm catching a plane from Baltimore to Boston tomorrow. I'm going to go visit Martin from Boys Like Girls. He's like my older brother and he and I can just hang out and catch up with him. I'll text you when I get back to Maryland if I'm up for it but please, let me get away from every thing for a few days..

Not even a minute later I get a reply back

**One New Message from:** Alex Gaskarth

Okay. I'll wait for you to text me and I won't bother you. Tell Martin I said hello and I hope you can forgive me. I love you, Jasey.

I don't bother to text him back because I am so confused and I don't want to say anything that I could regret tomorrow when I catch my flight to Boston. I run downstairs and tell Jack and Mina my plans. Mina says she'll drive me to the airport tomorrow at noon since I have a two o'clock flight. I thank them and tell them I'm off to bed.

I wake up around nine the next morning and I go hop in the shower. I throw on a pair of denim shorts and a Boys Like Girls slim fitting t-shirt. I put on my white flip flogs and my white hoodie with blue stripes and grab my phone and purse. Then, I tell Mina and Jack I am going home since Alex will be here any minute and I need to get some stuff together.

Once I'm home, I grab my usual stuff. T-shirts, hoodies, jeans, shorts, underwear, bras, straightener, converses, socks, tooth brush, tooth paste, and a brush and throw it all in my suitcase. Martin already knows my plans; he came up with them last night when he called asking how everything has been. I told him things were sucking and I was staying with Jack so he told me to come and see him. So, I am.


	3. Chapter 3 Visiting Martin

Mina picks me up at 11:45 and says that she didn't want to be there when the band started rehearsal, so she came early. I told her it was no big deal and just to give me a few extra minutes while I made sure I had everything. Once I had checked and double checked my list, I went downstairs and told her I was ready. I had my one suitcase full of stuff and my green American Eagle bag.

Once we got to the airport, I had out my ticket and I gave Mina a huge hug. She said to call often and that she would give me updates about Alex. I thanked her and waved goodbye. And then, I realized that I was really doing this. I mean, its summer and I'm supposed to make silly, irrational decisions but this seems like a big decision. It doesn't matter though. School got out what, two weeks ago? I have two and a half months left and I am not turning back now.

**A Few Hours Later..**

"MARTIN!"

"JASEY!!"

"I am so glad to see you, Martin! These past two days have been a nightmare. Thank you so much for letting me stay with you"

"Anytime, Jasey. You still have to tell me what happened, though. You did promise to tell me."

"And I will. I just don't want to air my dirty laundry for the entire airport, haha!"

"Sounds good, we can head back to my house and then we can go catch a move and some dinner with the rest of the band if you want."

"That sounds like a blast!"

In the car back to Martin's house, I tell him all about the past two days with Alex and Jack and everything that happened and I didn't cry. When I said Alex's name, it was hard but I did it because there's something about him that I will always love. I told Martin that. He said it was my choice but that he didn't like to see me hurting. I told him that "All's fair in love and War" and he agreed. After all of that, we went and saw All About Steve and then went to Panera for dinner.

Seeing Paul, Bryan and John again felt so nice. I didn't realized how much I missed them. When All Time Low and Boys Like Girls went on tour together, Alex and I had just started dating and that was two and a half years ago. That means I hadn't seen Martin, Paul, Bryan OR John in just over a year. It was insane. They told me about there new CD coming out and they talked about there family. They all seem to want to go back to school but they can't find the time. I told them I was taking some time off and they said that if I ever do go to college, they want to come in and see my dorm and what not.

Once Panera was about to close, we all headed home. Paul went to his house, Bryan went to his, John went to his and Martin and I went to his. I told him that after all that traveling and dinner that I just needed a good nights sleep. He showed me to the guest bedroom and I thanked him. I ran into my private bathroom, got changed, took off my makeup and brushed out my hair. I then went into the other room and plugged in my cell phone. When I went to check the time it said…

**One New Message From: Alex Gaskarth**


	4. Chapter 4 One New Message

I just sat there. My jaw dropped to the floor. I remember think about how I couldn't believe Alex had texted me even after everything I said to him. I didn't know what to do other then stare at it. But something inside me told me that I needed to open it and respond to it. So, I did. I opened it and it read..

Jasey,_  
I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.  
I've never made a bet but we gamble with desire.__  
I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire__  
But recently the flames are getting out of control.__  
Call me a name, kill me with words.  
Forget about me, it's what I deserve._  
That's the bridge of the song I'm writing about you. The song says how sorry I am for everything. You don't have to reply, but I wanted to share that with you.**  
[[AUTHORS NOTE:I know Jasey Rae is about Alex having a one night stand and it's a sorta old song but ignore that****]]**

I was stunned. He was writing a song about me? I can't believe that. I mean, that's just like telling everything to everyone but at the same time, it's the sweetest thing in the world. I quickly reply back with

Alex. You have no idea how hard it is for me to read that and not tear up. It's the sweetest thing in the world but I don't fully forgive you yet. And I am very sorry for that… I know I have only been gone for a day but I really miss everyone in Baltimore. Tell Jack, Mina, Zack, Rian and everyone else that I miss them so much. I'll see you guys really soon. And, Alex, were technically still together so I don't want you to move out just yet. I still have a lot of thinking to do but I want us to talk about all of this when I get home. I'll see you soon.

Before I could second guess asking Alex not to move out, I hit SEND. I then hear a quick knock on my door and tell whoever it is to come in. And, what do you know, it's Martin. He said he was going out with his girlfriend tomorrow to go to lunch at the mall. He told me I was welcome to come but if I didn't want to, I could always do some shopping. I said that I didn't want to tag along so I would do some shopping since I needed new converses anyways. Martin said he was fine with that and that he would wake me about 11 since we were leaving at 12:45. And then, I had a flashback of when Alex and I were together…

**FLASHBACK/DREAM**_  
Alex called me and told me he needed me come over. I could hear the worry in his voice and I could tell he was crying. I got there and sat down on the sofa with Alex. He wasn't really crying but his eyes were filled with tears and he was so upset. He was sitting in the dark in a pair of pajamas that I had never seen before. I was so confused and I just wanted to know what was wrong. That's when he said.._

"_Jasey?"_

"_Yes, Alex." I replied back._

"_My-my-my brother died.. He overdosed. He left us a note and it said that he couldn't take any of it anymore. He said he was sorry for doing this while we were fighting but that he was done with all of it. He said he loved all of us and he even told me that if I ever hurt you, he would hunt me down and make sure that I didn't do it ever again… Jack is the only other one that knows, he was there when my mom told me. I don't want to scare you but I needed someone to talk to."_

_And all I could do was give him a big hug. I had never been trough anyones death, and I didn't want to say anything to upset him. So I just gave him a hug and I know that it showed him that I was here for him. He said thank you and we sat there for the rest of the night snuggling and talking about all the good times that we had with Alex's little brother. Then, we both fell asleep on the couch…_


	5. Chapter 5 Minas update on Alex

Martin woke me up the next morning. I had a throbbing headache and at first I didn't know why. Then, I realized it was because I had sorta talked to Alex last night. And then I dreamt about him and when I found out about his little brother. That was such a sad day. I remember staying strong for Alex but then as soon as Alex left to go to Jacks, I couldn't stop crying. He wasn't even my brother and I was emotionally wrecked.

I ran downstairs and asked Martin where the Motrin would be. He said it was in the bathroom closet and asked if everything was okay and I told him I would be fine and I was off to get in the shower. Once I was done, I threw on my soft yellow halter dress that really brought out my tan and my white flip flops; a little eyeliner and mascara; brushed my hair and teeth and then headed downstairs. Martin said we had to leave soon since he was meeting his girlfriend Kelly there. So we left. Once we got there, Martin said he would call when they were done and then come find me. I told him to take his time and that I would him find him and tag along if I really couldn't find anything to do. He laughed and then zoomed off.

The first thing I did was find a Journey's. Alex had told me they were having a two for one sale so I figured I would look around. Once I got there, I walked right over to the converses. I saw a pair that was hot pink and I fell in love. I asked the guy if I could try them on in a seven and he gladly got them for me. He came back and I tried them on. I asked him what he thought and he said that he really liked them, so, I held onto them so I could pay for them. But all of a sudden, I got the urge to look at Nike Shoes because those are the kinds that Alex wear. So, I wind up walking over there and I find a pair of yellow Nikes with a black box and the white Nike check in the middle of the box. Since its two for one and I know Alex's size in almost everything, I decide to get them for him. Once I'm done that, I head over to Delia's and pick up a pair of denim skinny jeans that look so cute! Next I stop and get three new v-neck t-shirts, one is a soft yellow, one is a dark blue and the other is pink. Then I buy a new dress and then I top it all of with three new band t-shirts from Hot Topic; one is The Maine, one is We The Kings and the final one is a Hay Monday shirt. I am really happy with everything I got and I feel my phone start to buzz. I check the caller ID and it says "Mina Cell". It's been a day and a half since I talked to her so I sit down on a bench outside by a fountain and click talk.

"MINA!" I say happily.

"Jasey? Is that you?"

"Yes, Mina. It's Jasey. Who else would it be, silly girl"

"Hey, Jasey! I miss you so much! I wanted to give you an update on Alex..."

"Oh gosh, just, tell me." I say. I am so afraid that he slept with another girl.

"Well, the truth is that Alex hasn't slept with any girls since you have been gone. And he hasn't been moping around. He was writing more songs AND working on the chords for it. He hasn't been drunk and he definitely hasn't been to the clubs. Jasey, Alex is changing, he really is. I guess you set him straight. But he is still living at your house. He claims you told him to stay there. What are you going to do if he is still there when you get ba-"

"Mina, I texted Alex and told him to stay."

"Wh-what?"

"Yeah, he had texted me with this amazing new bridge for a song he wrote. I told him to stay at the house because I wanted to try to work things out when I get home, which will probably be in like, three days. I just think I should let him explain. I know, my family and the rest of my friends always told me not to trust him, please, you told me not to trust him. But there is something about him that makes me fall for him whenever I see him or, or I talk to him or I even think about him…"

"Jasey, this is your decision but I don't want you to get hurt. Promise me you know what you're doing."

"Mina, I can't make that promise. Oops, I have to go. Martin and Kelly just finished lunch so were heading back to his house. OH, I can't wait for you to see all my new clothes! Love you, bye!" And I hung up before she could ask any questions. I then got a call from Martin saying to meet them at the car and then we went home. We were all downstairs when I got a new text message..

**One New Message From: Alex Gaskarth**  
Hi Jasey! I know, I am not supposed to be talking to you but I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for everything that I have ever put you through. I don't ever want to hurt you and if you want me out of your life, ill be out for good. I swear... It will hurt me to leave you but I will if that's what you want.  
PS. I finished your song; I can't wait for you to hear it ;)

I love getting texts from Alex so I reply back,

Alex! It's good to hear from you. I still don't forgive you 100% but I am slowly learning that you didn't mean to hurt me and that you meant everything that we had. Speaking of which, I had a dream about the night you and I talked about your brother… It reminded me of the song Lullabies and I have been singing it all day. I really do love that song and when you wrote it about your brother, it was the sweetest thing. Anyways, I will never want you out of my life so don't think that. I will see you guys soon and I can't wait for the song!

Then, I plug my phone into the charger and get on Martins laptop. I go on and check my Face Book, 3 new notifications; and 1 new inbox. The notifications are comments on a picture of Martin and I at the airport that he tagged me in. The comments say how cute we look so I thank everyone before moving onto Kelly's inbox.

_Jasey, I wanted to know if you and Martin wanted to come over for dinner at 6:00 tonight. Were having Chicken Cordon Bleu and salad and then we can go out for ice cream. Just have Martin call me by 5:30 so I know. Thanks! -Kelly._

I run downstairs and tell Martin and he agrees. He then hops in the shower while I straighten my hair. Once were done and Kelly was called, we head on over.

The next few days are a blur and the next thing I know, Martin is hugging me goodbye and telling me to come back soon. I promise to come visit sometime before the end of the year and I tell him he is welcome to my house anytime. Then, I board my plane but not before texting Alex and Mina really quick to say that I should be home soon. Jack, Alex, Zack, Rian and Mina are picking me up at the airport so I am very excited.


	6. Chapter 6 The Letter

So, I sit down in my seat and I am so excited. I can barley sit still. I send a quick text to Martin saying that I miss him already and that I am so thankful to have such a good friend as him. And then, I settle in because I want to be comfy. The flight here was perfect so I am praying that I will be that lucky. But then, of course, a baby starts crying and a kid kicks my chair. The mom tells the kid not to kick my chair and I thank her. But the baby is still crying so, I put in my headphones and stare out the window. The next thing I know, a flight attendant is whispering to me…

"Sweetie, were at BWI, is this your stop?"  
"OH WOW. Time flies when you sleep, haha! Thanks so much" And then I gather my stuff and hurry off the plane.

I make it to the baggage claim and the bags are just pouring out. I feel a slight tap on my shoulder so I turn around thinking it was Mina. But there's no one behind me. So, I turn back around and sure enough, Alex, Jack, Zack, Rian and Mina are standing in front of me. And, they already have my suitcase. My face lights up as soon as I see them and I give each of them a hug, even Alex. We hurry into the car and I tell them all about my getaway and the Martin says hi. Alex tells me that nobody has heard his song yet and he can't wait to play it for me. While he's talking to me, my stomach is doing back flips and I swear I have butterflies. I guess that I really did miss him.

So, everyone is saying that they're going back to Jacks house but I say that I am really tired from not getting to much sleep so I ask Jack to drop me off at my house. Alex says not to wait up and that he has his key. As soon as I get home, I head for the kitchen. That's always the first place I visit when I get home from a trip because it makes me feel like I really am home. As soon as I get into the kitchen, I see that I have mail. It says it's from someone over in Iraq and the only person I know in Iraq is my brother, Andrew. I hope it's a letter from him, I miss him. The funny thing about the letter though, it's addressed to me, not Alex and almost all our mail is for him. So, I open it up and read it. As I read more and more, I start to cry harder and harder. It says my brother was shot and died. All I can do it sit at the table. I put head in my hands and just bawl my eyes out.

It must have been a while later because I hear the lock turn which means Alex is home from Jacks house. I really don't care if he sees me like this, so I continue to cry. He must hear me crying because the first thing I hear is "JASEY? Is that you? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Alex just walks in and holds me in his arms. He said that mail had come just before I got home from the airport. Then, Alex gets up and reads the letter himself. Then, I would swear I see a tear fall but he wipes it away because he knows I need him right now. Alex carries me up to our bedroom and sings me his song Lullabies which he wrote when his brother died. Speaking of which, I tell Alex that I dreamt about that. He says that it's a sign that Andrew is okay. Because he is up there with Alex's brother and they are catching up on life up in heaven. I think that's the sweetest thing Alex has ever told me, but it calms me down. Then, I give Alex a big hug and I tell him that I missed him. And then, out of no where, I tell him that I am in love with him. He looks at me and asks if I'm serious and I tell him I am. He then tells me that he is in love with me too and we just lie in bed together and fall asleep.

I wake up and Alex tells me its 10:37. So, we head on downstairs and Alex makes me two pieces of toast and he makes himself some Ramen Noodles. According to Alex, it's never too early for Ramen. I just laugh at him while we sit there watching _I Love Lucy_.

About an hour and a half later, I am still in pajamas and everything; I hear a knock on the front door. I walk over and I see my mom standing there. I haven't seen her in almost a year and a half and seeing her makes me think of Andrew. They were so much alike. Andrew always talked like my mom. She has a really strong Baltimore accent, so did Andrew. And they both had sandy blonde hair. It was so painful to think about him, I miss him already. Anyways, my mom just wraps me in a hug and says "I take it you already heard?" With that, I start crying again. Boy, I never knew it was possible to cry this much.


	7. Chapter 7 Out to dinner

I invite my mom inside and I tell her I just got home from Boston. We aren't that close so I didn't tell her before I left. Alex walks in and they start talking so I walk upstairs but I can still hear them..

"Mrs. Rae, I am so sorry for your loss"

"Thank you, dear. How has Jasey been?

"She's taking it really hard. I'm trying to stay strong for her. We haven't even told Jack or even Mina. Jasey's just sort of been sitting around since she got home. But I think were all going out to dinner tonight, and I am making her go. I just hope that shell be okay."

"Alex, you're doing a great job helping her but try not to push her to much. She has never lost anyone in her entire life, except your brother, and that was so hard for her."

"What are you talking about, Mrs. Rae? Jasey was stronger then I was…"

"Alex, honey, as soon as you left, Jasey began bawling her eyes out. She was so hurt. But it's getting better. How about, I go talk to her and I will get her to go out with you guys? I think it would be best because I have to get home to be with my husband." Then, I hear my mother's footsteps and she tells me that she needs to get home but that I need to get out. I promise that I will go out to dinner with the band and Mina tonight. We say our goodbyes and she leaves.

Once my mom is gone, I hop in the shower and then I get dressed. Jack said to dress casual so I'm wearing my black converses, dark denim skinny jeans and my new yellow v-neck. I go over to my suitcase and I find my hot pink converses and Alex's Yellow Nikes that I bought. I run to the basement and grab a present bag and I stick the shoe box in there. Once Alex gets out of the shower, I walk over to him and I tell him I bought these for him. He thanks me and puts them on. He's wearing black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, his white hoodie with blue horizontal stripes, his beanie which I love and his new Nikes. I start to straighten my hair and once I have finished, Alex straightens _his _hair. It's funny that we share our Chi straightener. Once were ready its 4:50 so we head over to Jacks house. None of them know about Andrew yet and it's going to suck to tell they because they were all really close with him, but, I push that to the back of my head and grab Alex's hand. I am slowly learning to trust him because I really do **need** him in my life.

We arrive at Jacks and I can tell that Jack is about three drinks away from being wasted, silly Jack. We head over to Outback Steak house and once were sitting down; I really am having a good time. I'm don't have to be fake where I pretend that I'm having fun because I am having fun. Anyways, Alex and I are still holding hands and I think I'm afraid to let go. We order dinner and we have to let go in order to eat, but that's okay because I know his hand will hold mine when were done. I'm almost finished when I get a call from my mom. I excuse myself from the table and walk outside to the parking lot. My mom sounds fine but at first I was really worried that something had happened. She said she just wanted to call so I knew she was home. I thank her for coming to visit and then I quickly head back inside. That's when I see someone who looks just like Andrew but then it comes back to me that he's gone. Alex's looks up and sees me so when I run back to the parking lot and sit on the bench, it's no surprise he follows me there.

"Jasey, baby, what's wrong, I saw you come outside after you saw that guy. Is something wrong?"

"Alex, I'm fine. He looked like Andrew and it was just hard. I just needed some fresh air. I'll be okay. Go back inside, sweetie."

"Not until you go with me. Were going to walk in there holding hands and I am going to be there for you. Okay?"

I slightly nod and then I look up at the sunset. It's the prettiest thing right now; fading from blue to purple to pink to orange to yellow. I tell Alex that I'm ready to go back in and we hold hands. I whisper to him that I love him and he tells me he loves me too. I have no idea what Jack and Mina and Zack and Rian are going to think when I come back inside after I almost ran over to that guy.

Once we sit down at the table Mina is the first to ask me what happened and why I ran out so fast. I tell them that I have bad news. Zack and Rian look at me with worry in there eyes and Jack, luckily, hasn't had anything else to drink so he's all ears. I ask them if they all knew that Andrew had been over in Iraq. The four of them tell me they knew and I look at Alex who is holding my hand and then, when I look forward again, I fight back tears as I tell them that he was shot and died.


	8. Chapter 8 Andrew

**There were one or two people who reviewed and they totally made my day; I just wanted them to know that and here goes chapter eight!**

We all just sorta sat there in silence for a while after I told them that he died. I had said..

"You guys, the reason I was so upset about everything and I haven't been out was because the day I got home from Boston, I had mail waiting for me. I was so surprised because everything is always addressed to Alex. It said that it was from someone in Iraq but it didn't say who so I figured it was Andrew writing to me. I got so excited. I had been so worried about him for the longest time and I was so happy he had time to write me a letter. I was exstatic so, I opened it up. The letter wasn't from Andrew. It was from war officials. They said Andrew was in battle and he was shot. He passed away but that he is in a better place now. At first I didn't comprehend it. I wanted Ashton Kutcher to just waltz through my door and go "Gotcha, Jasey" But then, I realized that Andrew was dead, that I would never see him again. I realized that he would never have kids and that I would never be an Aunt. But most importantly, I realized that I had lost one of my best friends. Andrew was there through so much and him being gone is just so, so heart breaking. Its one of those things that hits you so hard and so fast that you can't help but not believe it. But once it sunk in, I couldn't stop crying. Anyways, Alex came home from Jack's and he found me sitting at out kitchen table bawling my eyes out. I don't like to cry in front of people because I can take care of myself and I know what's best for me a lot of the times but the other day, I-I just couldn't help it. I lost my closest family member because he was fighting for our freedom. I didn't want to spoil you're dinner it was just really hard for me. I hope you guys can understand."

I felt like such a brat because now, I made this dinner all about my family. I hate when I am in the spotlight. They all just let it sink in but then, they told me it was okay. That it was okay to cry and okay to express myself. But the big thing they told me was that it was okay for me to be upset about loosing him but that they would be there. Jack told me how sorry he was and Mina told me that she was always just a phone call away. Zack said he had never seen me get worked up so that this was healthy. And then Rian told Zack to shut up and Rian said he was so sorry about he would do anything I asked. All Alex did was grab my hand and hold it for me but it made me feel so close to him. He makes me feel like I am the most special person in the world. I finally trust him all the way, again.

Were leaving Outback when I realize something, when and where will Andrew funeral be? He has always been very big on making sure we have him a big funeral with a lot of people so they can say goodbye. He said it's the healthiest way for all of this to be down and I am going to make sure he gets the funeral he had always talked about.

All of a sudden, my cell phones vibrating. I look down and it says:  
**One New Message From: Martin Johnson**

Authors Note: I know this was really short but I think I know how I am going to play out the next few chapter.. If you have any comments put them in the review part. if you have any suggestions, inbox me. both would be very helpfuul. im not updating until i get one review so go review, darlingg! (:


	9. Chapter 9 I Just Want Him Back

The first thing that went through my mind was "Oh my God, Andrew and Martin were like brothers. And I forgot to tell Martin. This just keeps getting worse and worse. I think I might start to cry" But somehow, I found the courage and clicked the Read Now button. The message said

_Dear Jasey, I am so sorry about what happened to Andrew. I saw it in the newspaper online because Paul had said this guy had the same last name as you so I checked it out. That's when I realized, that it was Andrew. I cried, yes, me. I miss him too, Jasey. I don't know how you are doing but I want to know. Tell me when the funeral is and I will be there. I don't care if you don't want me there. I need to see you to make sure you are okay. -Martin._

Martin always knows how to be so heartfelt, I love it. I responded back saying I didn't know when the funeral was and then my mom called. She said she had just planned the funeral and it was scheduled for the night of Friday, September 29 and the viewing would be held that morning. I quickly texted back Martin saying I had just found out when the funeral was. He told me not to worry because he would be there, supporting Alex and I through this horrible death.

I got home that night and Alex and cuddled up in front of the television. We were watching a movie but I couldn't focus so I told him I had to get out. He asked if I wanted him to drive me anywhere, I said no because I wanted to walk.

I start walking and in the back of my mind, I know all along where I am headed but I don't want to admit it. I'm headed for the park because that's the last place Andrew and I went together. I told him I wanted him to take one last walk with me before he went to Iraq so he did. On my way there, I cry and I laugh. I smile and I frown but the most important thing is that I think. I think about everything that is going on and I think about Martin. I think about Alex and Jack, Mina and Zack, Rian and everyone else. I don't know why but it's hard to think whenever I am sitting in one place. Walking always helps me and that's one thing Alex doesn't really understand. I think it's because he can express himself through song but I express myself through thoughts. I decide to sit and watch the cars drive by once I get to the park but the next thing I know, I wake up in the park underneath of a tree at the park. I look at my phone, surprised it wasn't stolen, and notice that its 8:14 am which means I fell asleep here. I have 6 new text messages, 4 missed calls and 3 voicemails. Five of the texts are from Alex and the fifth is from Martin. Three missed calls from Alex and two voicemails from him. The other call and voicemail was from my mother.

The texts from Alex say things like,

"Jasey, where are you, hon?" Or things like

"Do you plan on coming home?" But the most heartfelt one was

"Jasey, please do not doing anything stupid. I love you; we all love you and really hope you're okay. Please call me."

The text from Martin says,

"Jasey, Jasey, Jasey... Alex just called. That means a lot showing that he and I don't really get along, I don't hate him and he doesn't hate me but we just don't love each other. He was worried you had skipped town and came to Boston. Then he told me what happened after I – who was very confused – promised him you were not here. Jasey, go home and call me when you get there. –Martin"

Martin's made me laugh and Alex's made me feel bad. I don't bother listening to the voicemails. I just erase all of them and call back Alex. I assure him I will be walking straight home and not to worry. On my way home, I dial my mom's number. She just wanted to make sure I knew when the funeral was and then says she has to run. Her yoga class starts in 9 minutes; I sure do love my mom.

Then, I decide it's time to call Martin. Honestly, screw what Alex thinks I should do. He doesn't like me to talk to Martin to much and I don't care right now. I can listen to his crap later. Right now, I need a friend to talk to. So, I dial the number. After about three rings, he picks up.

"Jasey, I am so glad you called! Alex and I were worried…"

And then, out of no where, I just start crying. No, scratch that. I am bawling my eyes out. I am so heartbroken right now. I just need someone to listen to me say what I am feeling.

"Jasey, you can talk to me. Calm down, talk to me…"

And so, I did. I calmed down and then I started.

"I know you don't want to hear me complain but I need someone to talk to. Alex gets it but I don't want to upset him. You lost your mom and so you might get it a little more and not feel as hurt as Alex would. I feel like I have been abandoned. I feel like I am in a parallel universe. It's like, you hear about this all the time but I don't think it should be true. I don't want this to be true. I just want to see him one last time, to say goodbye and to say all those things I wish I could say. Saying them to Andrew's dead body isn't going to help. Saying that I want him back isn't going to bring him back. I want to remind him of all those precious memories I had of him and all those times prayed for him. I want to tell him all about Alex and I and all about you. I want him to meet my kids and watch me walk down the aisle. But most importantly, I want him to hold me in his arms one last time and tell me that he loves me. I feel like I have no purpose now. It's like, Andrews gone so Jasey should be too. Because I was never just Jasey Rae; I was always Jasey Rae, Andrew's sister. And Andrew was never just Andrew Rae; he was always Andrew Rae, Jasey's brother. We looked out for each other and now it's all gone. Martin, I just want him back..."


	10. Chapter 10 The Veiwing

**I lied. I got no reviews but I still wanted to post this. Its not as good as I had hoped but whateverr(: Enjoy, my loves.**

Alex and I got to the funeral about ten minutes before it started. I knew we didn't have to but it made me feel like I would have a deeper connection since I was there early. Anyways, Alex and I had just pulled up when he looked over at me. He met my gaze, my eyes stinging with tears; Alex told me that he loved me. He said me he would always be there for me and that he wasn't leaving my side today unless I asked him to. I looked at him and I told him that that is the sweetest thing he had ever told me and that I really loved him too. I told him I wasn't going anywhere and then, I thanked him. At first he didn't understand but then I explained him how if I was alone right now, I would have just walked out on my family and my friends. I would have moved half way around the world and started over where no one knew me. Then, I got choked up. All I said was that I was ready and we got out of the car. Alex walked around to my side of the car and just gave me a big hug. I wanted to cry but I knew there would be enough tears once we got inside so I held back.

We walked in holding hands and we were the only ones there. The first thing I did was walked up the casket. Andrew's eyes were closed and he was in a dark blue suit. He had on a pin for serving and there was a folded up flag in his hands. Alex squeezed my hand to make sure I was okay and I told him to go stand in the back because I needed to say goodbye to Andrew. Once Alex had walked away, I grabbed Andrew's hand. It was cold but I didn't mind. I started to whisper to him.

_Andrew, Andrew, Andrew... This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Remember when I was seven and Lucy, out two year old puppy, ran away? I told you that we had to find her. You said it was best not to chase after her because it might make her run further. That was so hard not to yell and scream but I listened and she came home. I thought that was hard and look, now I am standing over you saying goodbye. And do you remember the day you told me you were going to Iraq? You walked out the door and I bawled my eyes out. They always say that when someone goes to war, hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst. And I hoped everyday. I prayed for you once a day because you mean that much to me. I don't know what I am going to do without you but I know that you are still here. I know we didn't see each other much but I just want you to know that I love you. I always have and I always will. Thank you, Andrew for being there for so much for me. When you get to heaven, make sure you say hi to Alex's brother for me. Tell him I miss him, okay? But when I get up there, were gonna catch up on everything. I will tell you all about my life and you teach me all about heaven and everything else. Just know I love you and I am going to be looking for signs that you're still here watching over me and Alex and Mom and even Martin. I know you'll always be watching me and just know that I will always be looking for you, even though I know you're gone. I love you, Andrew. And I hope you like it where ever you're going. Goodbye, brother. I sure do miss you, already._

And with that, a tear silently slid down my check.

Once I am finished, I feel a hand on my back. I turn around really fast, half expecting to see my mom, and there's Alex. He stands there and wipes away my tears and then gives me a big hug. We are walking back to my mom when I see a car pull up outside. Since were the only ones who have a room for a viewing right now, I run outside to see who it is. When I notice the license plate, I know its Martin. I tell Alex to head on inside so I can tell Martin everything that's going on. Then I assure Alex that nothing will happen. Once he is inside and Martin gets out of the car, I decide to walk over to him. We don't even speak, he just wraps me in a hug and whispers "I'm so sorry for your loss, Jasey" Yes, Martin knows that that will not bring Andrew back but it's still comforting. We just stand there for a while, and it's sort of awkward. But then, I realize that just because Martin's in a fancy suit and I am in a black dress does not mean that were any different then when he was in boxer and I was in over sized sweats.

I tell Martin to head on inside since I just need some fresh air. And I just kind of sit there. I watch as the leaves blow in the wind and the cars that make an illegal U-Turn when no ones watching. I watch as the kids run around at the park across the street but the most important thing I notice is a shadow. There's a big oak tree and it looks like some one is standing behind it. I walk over to the crosswalk and cross the street. Once I get to the tree that I swear someone was just standing at, I notice no one is there. And I know they would have walked away because I was watching it the entire time. All that's running through my head is how Andrew really is looking out for me and that he really is here.

Once I get back inside, the room is practically full. There are at least 35 people here. When I finally find Alex, I ask him if he wants to stay any longer. When he says no, I tell him that I wanted to go out to lunch with him and Martin if that's okay with them. Of course, it is and we all head on over to the house so we can change into more casual clothes to go out for lunch.

**Please review or PM me of what you think of the seriies**


	11. Chapter 11 Amanda

**[[**AUTHORS NOTE: Heey guys! I am so sorry this update took so long. Everything is just so busy right now but I'll try to get updates out sooner. Thanks for understanding(:**]]**

We pull up to the restaurant and tell the hostess that we need a booth for three. Once were seated, I tell Martin and Alex to get me a Strawberry Lemonade if the waitress comes while I'm in the bathroom. When I come back, I see Alex and Martin. I am expecting them to be glaring at each other about to kill one another but there not. They are talking, and laughing. Oh my gosh, they are being polite to each other.

I walk back to the table with my jaw hanging wide open. Martin and Alex are just cracking up! I almost cry, but I hold the tears just back to keep them from questioning me. Then, I slide into out booth and I ask what's so funny. Martin explains that Alex was telling him about that time I didn't want to jump off the swing set at the park because I was afraid I would break a bone. It is funny looking back on it but then, I was terrified! Eventually, Alex told me if I didn't jump he would tickle me until I peed myself. What do you know, I jumped right off. Then we just lied there watching the sun set. It was out first date and the first time I really had deep feeling for Alex and since that day, those feelings just won't go away. I guess I really do need him in my life.

Once out food come, we are all having a good time when I look two tables down from our table and I notice a girl with a BOYS LIKE GIRLS bracelet on and an ALL TIME LOW t-shirt on. She looks about 13 but she looks really, really shy. I can tell she wants to come over but she doesn't want to bother us so, I get up and walk over to her.

"Hi there, I'm Jasey. What's your name, sweetheart?"

"I'm Amanda.."

"Hi Amanda! I saw your t-shirt and your bracelet and I don't want to take you away from Mommy and Daddy but I have the lead singers of both of those bands over there at that table. Would you like to meat them?"

She looks very leery at first. Like, she doesn't know if this is real or not. Then, she asks her parents if it's okay and then walks with me to the table. Martin and Alex take pictures with her and then she walks back over. I swear, I have never seen a little girl this happy! And I forgot how good it feels to make others feel so happy.

Once Amanda is gone and we are all sitting at the table again, Martin and Alex ask me why I did that. Normally, I would of waited for her to come over. I love fans to death but when I want to be alone with Alex or Martin or both of them, I don't like to be bothered. I tell Martin and Alex that if Andrew was still here, he would of wanted me to do something nice for her since she looked so upset. I explain that it was like Andrew was whispering in my ear to go say hello to her, so I did. Martin and Alex both look so proud of me and honestly, I am proud of myself!

I feel something vibrate so I pull out my cell phone and it reads

**One New Message From: Mom**

[[AUTHORS NOOOOTEE: Hii guyyyss(: Sorry this wasn't perfecctt. Everything is so stressful right now so I am sorry I haven't updated :l I will try suuuper hard to get chapter thirteen out soon! Thanks, darlings, for the reviews! ]]


	12. Chapter 12 Dear Diary

**[[AUTHORS NOTE]]: HI GUYSSSSS. I'm back(: Well, I like, disappeared for a while. Between school and activities and my friends and everything like that, time just slipped away. Fan fiction has been in the back of my mind for a while now and I'm getting ideas again. That was the other thing, ideas stopped coming to me. It was so odd but I think that's over, haha! Anyways, I'm back and thank you to the people who have continued to wait for this chapter. I'm truly sorry. OH. I wanted a new format for this chapter.. Just to mix things up(:**

Dear Diary,

Today is November 9, 2009 and we just found out that Alex is going back on tour. He is leaving on the twelfth and I will fully admit, I am scared that he is going to screw up. If he does, I think its going to be over. Recently, I just have been really short tempered. I haven't been able to focus and things just aren't going the way I want. Don't get me wrong, things are fabulous with Alex but not with my mom. She doesn't get that Andrews' death still hurts me and it's not something I want to talk about. Not long ago, it was the four month anniversary of his death. I was a wreck. I figured going to his grave would help so I went there and I sat down and I told him about everything. Then I realized, the next day was his birthday and I lost it. I was just sitting in front of his grave, crying. People must have thought I was insane because one guy came over and asked if he needed to call someone for me. I don't know why but I said yes. I asked him to call Alex and ask him to come pick me up. When Alex got there, he was very annoyed. I don't know why, I didn't ask, but it was just really weird...

Anyways, I'm better then I was that day but this still sucks and I'm still a wreck. On the good side, Alex hasn't been annoyed anymore. I guess he was just putting up a wall so I couldn't tell that he was scared when he got the call saying he needed to pick me up. But on the bright side, I got a job at Hollister Co. and now Alex and I can move out of our tiny place and move into a house. I have to say, I am very excited. We are moving about three houses down from Jack and Mina and so that's going to be really nice. Alex seems to be maturing, he seems to be growing up and seeing that we do really love each other. On the eleventh of this month [11/11], were going out to dinner to this really fancy restaurant not far from the house. I only know this because he told me to make sure I have a dress to wear and to make sure that I don't make any other plans. Mina thinks that Alex is going to propose to me and honestly, I would be perfectly okay with that. Ever since Andrew died, I have felt such a strong connection with Alex. Its like, BAM, we fell back in love...

OH. I meant to write about the text I got last night. My mom had told me she and my dad were going out to dinner so she wanted to know if Alex and I were willing to come. We both went just to please them and it was a lot of fun. My parents are happy and that, in its self, brought a tear to my eye. Even if my mom and I do have different views on how long Andrews' death should affect me, I really do love her. She has great intentions and I admire her.

Tonight, Alex said him and I could stay home and watch any chick flick I wanted. Alex is making us dinner and he bought popcorn, and soda and candy. I chose to watch "Love Happens" because it looks adorable and Mina said she saw it and she was madly in love with it. So, I am really looking forward to this because it's going to just be so romantic. Well, I must go. I told Alex I would be ready to have dinner at six and I want to hop in the shower and get pretty so I can look nice for the most adorable boy in the world.

With love,

Miss Jasey Rae(:


	13. Chapter 13 Maybe this is the Night

**HIIIII. Sorry I haven't updated, life is just really crazy right now. I'm picking up where I left off on the last chapter.. So, that means it's November 10, 2009 in the story so umm.. yeahh(:**

"Alex, honey?" I asked. It was the middle of the night so we must of both fell asleep sitting on the sofa. I looked to my right and I didn't see him so I turned to my left and I still didn't see him. I was thoroughly confused and wondering where he had gone when I looked down and saw him fast asleep and all wrapped up in a blanket.. on the floor. I laughed at the site because Alex and I always joke about how I used to fall off the sofa when we first started dating. It was actually quite funny.

I bent over to the ground and poked Alex on the side. I know he hates it because it tickles him but it's one of the only ways I know to wake him up. When I poked him, I heard him grunt but at the same time I saw him smile. He pulled me under the blanket and we just lay there snuggling while falling back asleep right there on the rug.

We both work up the next day, November 11, and just pretty much sat around. That was, until about five thirty when Alex said he was going to Jacks to get all dressed up and he told me to be dressed in my fancy clothes by six thirty and be ready because a car will be here to pick me up.

I'll admit, I am so excited! I feel like this is just a dream.. maybe tonight will be THE NIGHT that we get engaged! But then again, what if he tells me bad news, like, maybe the band needs to move, or he is having a hard time staying loyal or maybe, maybe, he has been cheating on me.. NO. I can't let myself have these thoughts. Alex loves me and he knows not to screw this up again because he knows this will be there end of us if he even tries to cheat on me, at least, I hope he know. Because if Alex were to cheat on me again, I think I would lose it. I don't even know what I would do but I know one thing. And the one thing that I know is that I won't be looking back if he cheats on me. I will pack up, and move.

I just hope he isn't going to tell me he cheated on me..  
I just don't think I would be able to take that.. not now at least.


	14. Chapter 14 Happiest Day Ever

"MINA IM ENGAGED!" I screamed over the phone.

Last night, Alex and I went out for dinner. He finally asked me to marry him and it was the most romantic thing ever. We were at our table and there was peaceful music playing and we were both enjoying a glass of champagne. Then, after we had finished our meal, he looked me in the eye and smiled.

"Jasey, sweet, adorable, lovable, little Jasey Rae. I love you, and you know that, right? I've loved you since day one and every since, you've had me falling harder and harder for you. I swear, I fall more and more in love with you every day. When I first met you, I knew that things would be different. I could just tell. And everything you put up with when it came it me. I don't deserve a girl as great as you but I have you and I'm going to hold onto you for as long as I can because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you" he said to me. And that's when it happened. He pushed his chair out from under the table and looked me in the eye. He got down on one knee and said "I love you, Jasey and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

I had already been crying from when he said that he's been falling harder and harder for me. I said yes and Alex slipped the 14K White Gold three-stone diamond ring onto my left ring finger as we stood up hugging each other. I told him I loved him and that I was so happy to spend the rest of my life with him. It's hard to believe that in under a year, I will be a married woman.  
Mrs. Jasey Rae-Gaskarth.. I like the sound of that ;)

**Authors Note: WELL, guys I personally am in love with this chapter 3(:**


End file.
